PWA
SEGMENT
1: INTRODUCTION:
A video
package airs on the Jumbotron highlighting some of the closing moments of the
final broadcast of Carey Attitude Wrestling and Franklin Square Wrestling from
June 15, highlighting several important moments, including the FSW victory
celebration after Mike Griffin’s victory over CAW legend Mike Scarchilli.
The package then takes us to FSW owner Bryan Conroy’s press conference on June
17, announcing that, after acquiring CAW, he will be shutting down both
organizations and merging them into one: the Progressive Wrestling
Alliance. From there, Muse’s “Citizen Erased” blares over the
loudspeakers and a brief video package rolls featuring the PWA logo and images
of several PWA superstars before the camera pans to the capacity crowd at the
Continental Airlines Arena and an exhilarating pyrotechnic display
ensues. With the crowd cheering rabidly, the camera focuses in on the
commentary table, and our play-by-play broadcaster Victor Troy.
Troy:
Hello, everyone and welcome to the premiere broadcast of the Progressive
Wrestling Alliance! I’m Victor Troy and I couldn’t be happier to be
bringing the action to you tonight! It’s been a long road since the
dissolution of CAW and FSW, but the moment of truth has finally arrived!
It is finally time for the world premiere of the Progressive Wrestling
Alliance!
Suddenly, Troy is cut off by the sounds of Sade’s “Smooth Operator” blaring over the speakers. As the crowd stares at the entryway in anticipation, they are disappointed at the arrival of a tall, slender, slimy-looking individual smugly strutting down the ramp. The man, dressed in lounge clothes and smoking a cigar, makes his way over to the announce table before taking a seat next to Victor Troy.
Troy: Who the hell are you?
Man: The name’s Don Cerrone, but you can simply
call me the Standard Sleaze, and your new broadcast colleague.
Troy: What?!? Why would Bryan Conroy do
that to me? I can tell just by looking at you that I’m not gonna like
you!
Cerrone: (smirking) You see, Victor, already
we’ve gotten off on the wrong foot. It’s not right to prejudge
people. I am just out here to do my job. I am out here to call the
action to these fans just like you. It’s only that I have more fun than
you on a day-to-day basis.
Troy: Oh really. You call yourself the
Standard Sleaze, and it’s not hard to imagine why. You really do seem to
me like the textbook definition of a sleazy individual, and I’ve only just met
you.
Cerrone: And, likewise, I have just met you, and
I can deduce right off the bat that you are an easily amused individual that
will be in for some surprises before this night is out. I work better
under hostile conditions, anyway. So fire away, the less you like me, the
more effective we’ll be as a broadcast team.
SEGMENT
2: RINGSIDE
The
initial meeting between commentators Victor Troy and Don Cerrone is suddenly
cut off by the sounds of “Understanding in a Car Crash” by Thursday. The
crowd stares at the entryway with interest before breaking out with intense
approval as PWA owner Bryan Conroy emerges. Conroy, decked out in a suit
and tie, slaps hands with audience members as he walks to the ring, soaking in
the adulation from a crowd made up of primarily former loyalists of CAW and
FSW, the two organizations he made his name in. Conroy steps into the
ring and, as the crowd settles down, raises a microphone to his face to speak.
Cerrone:
(rolling his eyes) What does HE want?
Troy:
(annoyed) Why don’t you just shut up and let the man talk?!
Conroy:
Alright ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Progressive Wrestling
Alliance! Welcome to the Continental Airlines Arena! For those of
you that don’t know me, I am Bryan Conroy and I am the owner of the Progressive
Wrestling Alliance! First off, I’ve been bombarded with questions over
the past few weeks, asking me if, now that I am the owner of the PWA, I have
wrestled my last match. Well, I can answer that with a simple
statement: After losing to Jason Calysto in the match of my life several
months ago, and then forming the Progressive Wrestling Alliance days later, I
really have nothing left to prove in the ring. I am a five-time CAW
Champion, I’ve had a great career, but as of this moment, it is officially
over. I am officially retired. (crowd boos) But that’s
alright. The PWA is all about great talent, fresh stars, and a new era of
wrestling. That is why, tonight, we will break conventions and close our
show with an invitational battle royal, open to any contracted PWA
superstar! However, this battle royal is special: the winner of the
battle royal will advance straight to our inaugural pay-per-view, Everlasting
Epic, live from Madison Square Garden on August 31, to wrestle for the vacant
PWA Championship! That superstar will face the winner of a twelve-man
single-elimination tournament to begin Tuesday night on PWA Frequency.
The participants of that tournament will be the twelve men eliminated directly
before the winner of tonight’s battle royal, with the seeding determined by the
order of elimination. Furthermore, tonight, we will see a tremendous tag
team showdown between the men who unified the CAW and FSW Tag Team
Championship, Jaguar and Romeo, the Hot Boy$ (crowd cheers) and the legendary
team of undisputed CAW/FSW Heavyweight Champion “The Impulse” Mike Griffin and
Greg Tantalus, I’m talking about T… F… U! (crowd cheers passionately)
There will be three other great matches in store tonight…
Conroy is suddenly cut off by the sound of Jim Johnston’s “The End is Here” and the arrival of CAW’s weasel commissioner Jerry Georgatos. Georgatos, who was one of the most hated figures in CAW history, slowly walks down to the ring with a huge smirk on his face, much to the chagrin of PWA owner Conroy. Confidently, Georgatos steps into the squared-circle with a microphone of his own.
Cerrone: I like this guy!
Troy: You would.
Conroy: What the hell are you doing here?!?
In case you haven’t realized, this isn’t CAW. You, Jerry Georgatos, are
NOT the commissioner of the PWA. In fact, you don’t even WORK for the
PWA! Why the hell are you here?!?
Georgatos: (smiling) Two months and not a damn
thing has changed. That’s some nasty greeting, Bryan. Look at
me. I’m not mad. I mean, did I begrudge you for giving me the cold
shoulder after acquiring CAW? Of course not! I’m Jerry Georgatos,
for chrissake! I was the greatest commissioner in CAW history! I
should have a job here. Unfortunately, you wouldn’t allow it. But
did I get angry? No! You want to know why?
Conroy: No, but I’m sure you’re going to tell us
anyway.
Georgatos: You’re damn right I’m going to tell
you anyway. THIS is why! (Georgatos reaches into his pocket, pulls out a
slip of paper, and hands it to Conroy)
Conroy: (reading over the paper) It’s a manager’s
license. So what?
Georgatos: So what?!? What that manager’s
license means is that I now have every right to be at every PWA broadcast,
whether you pay me or not, because I work for my client!
Conroy: You’re still not impressing me.
What client?
Georgatos: (smiling from ear to ear) Ladies and
gentlemen, I would like to introduce to you my managerial acquisition!
With that, the intimidating sound of John Williams’ “Imperial March” lurks its way onto the speakers as the fans stare at the entryway, waiting for a superstar to walk out. What they get is more than any old superstar; they get THE superstar. They get Superstar Scott Hosemann, the highly touted and ultra-impressive former CAW Champion! Conroy stands on in shock as Hosemann, with a new look and a new tattoo of a sun etched in the middle of his back, stalks his way to the ring to a tremendously mixed reaction. Hosemann enters the ring and shakes the hand of his new manager before staring into the eyes of Conroy, the man that pays him.
Georgatos: You wouldn’t give me a job, Conroy, so
I went out and found my own way to get one here! Ladies and gentlemen, I
give you the next PWA Champion, Superstar Scott Hosemann! And, in case
you were wondering, Hosemann WILL be a part of tonight’s battle royal, and he
WILL win it! And when he does, Conroy, I, Jerry Georgatos, will be the
most powerful man in this company, and there will be NOTHING you or anyone else
can do about it!
As Conroy stares on with concern, Georgatos and Hosemann laugh maniacally and we fade out for our first commercial break.
-- COMMERCIAL BREAK #1 --
SEGMENT
3: MATCH 1: JAMES “THE BLIZZARD” PALADINO VS. DIABETES DUDE:
PWA
action is on the tip of every fan's tongue as Pantera’s "Cowboys From
Hell" explodes over the speakers and floods the Continental Airlines
Arena. A thin, yet well-defined young man sporting a short black haircut,
black wrestling shorts, a white tank top, dark sunglasses, and black boots
methodically steps out from behind the curtain. He is clearly focused for
the impending competition, but it is clear in his walk and the way he looks
around at the capacity crowd that he is struggling to lose control of his
excitement. Finally, as he climbs into the ring, he puts his hands on his
hips and smirks, absorbing the magnitude of the moment. James "The
Blizzard" Paladino has arrived in PWA. Not moments after the
completion of Paladino's entrance does DVDA’s "Now You're A Man"
erupt through the arena, prompting Paladino's opponent, the equally wiry and
dangerous-looking Diabetes Dude, who is accompanied to the ring by the large
and menacing DareDevyl. Collectively, the Double D's make no hesitation
to soak up their place here in wrestling history.
Troy: This should be an extraordinary match! Both of these men have a lot to offer and could be on their way to becoming huge PWA stars!
Cerrone: They COULD, but, don’t forget, if they screw up this match, they might bury themselves in PWA obscurity forever.
Troy:
Well, that’s a real negative way to look at things.
The bell rings and the business has begun. The sound of it is like a
roaring fire lit beneath both men, and they start to rapidly square off and
circle about, before finding each other in the center of the ring, violently
locking up. Just the intensity of the lockup brings many fans to
their feet, and Paladino takes a quick advantage, sharply turning Diabetes
Dude's arm into a hammerlock, before swiftly kicking him in the gut with one
leg, and placing the other on top of Dude's head for a release backflip into an
attempted back suplex. Dude thwarts the suplex, escalating the gasps of
the already amazed crowd, as he rolls backwards onto his feet, and quickly
turns Paladino over into a backslide. Paladino rolls backwards out of the
backslide and immediately twists into a spinning bulldog neckbreaker upon
reaching his feet! Paladino rolls away from his opponent towards the
center of the ring, and poses dramatically. The fans totally eat it up,
and an impressed, yet undaunted Diabetes Dude quickly kicks up to his feet,
inciting another positive crowd reaction, as he strikes a pose that suggests
he's more than ready for more.
Troy: This match has to be scored an even draw to this point!
Cerrone:
It is very important for both men to realize just how pivotal a victory in the
first televised PWA match would be. They need to do whatever it takes to
win.
Troy:
Something tells me Diabetes Dude and James Paladino shouldn’t be taking advice
from a man who calls himself the “Standard Sleaze.”
They waste no time locking up again, and this time Diabetes Dude takes the
quick advantage, rapidly twisting Paladino's arm in a series of brutal
successive hammerlocks. The series culminates with Dude violently jerking
Paladino's hyperextended arm downward, sending his entire body splashing down
into the canvas. Paladino quickly bounces off of this however, and to the
delight of the crowd, he flips forward, and kicks up onto his feet, reversing
the hammerlock position! He immediately whips Dude towards him for a swift
short clothesline, but Dude ducks under and locks on his Diabetic Coma sleeper
submission! Paladino however has way too much momentum, and strongly,
steadily, turns himself over under Dude's arm, before reversing the move
entirely into a stiff northern lights suplex bridge! The first cover of
the night warrants only a two count. Dude is still stunned as Paladino
darts over to the corner, and hits a frog splash off the top rope, which misses
narrowly! Paladino shockingly bounces right off the impact and catches an
incoming Dude with a backdrop right out of the ring! Paladino immediately
hits the ropes and does a suicide dive through the middle and top ropes, but
Dude scouts it and dropkicks him out of midair!
Troy: Wow! What a move! Diabetes Dude has just sent looks of shock onto the faces of every fan in this arena!
Cerrone:
I’m telling you, Troy, these guys will do ANYTHING to win! I love it!
Dude immediately leaps onto the apron and hits the Insulin Shot on the
outside! Both men are stunned but the crowd cannot help but feel that the
pace of the match has not slowed down one bit. Eventually Dude rises, and
tosses Paladino back into the ring, before locking on the Diabetic Coma
again! Paladino starts violently jabbing his elbow into Dude's back, and
Dude loses his grip. Paladino quickly capitalizes by shoving Dude into
the ropes. He comes staggering back and walks right into Paladino's
high-impact Blizzard Kick, completely leveling him! Not a moment later
does Dude's partner, DareDevyl arrive on the ring apron, distracting the ref
from Paladino's obviously sufficient cover. Enraged, Paladino springs up
off of Dude, and rushes DareDevyl. He never makes it to the apron,
however, as a recovered Diabetes Dude quickly rolls him up from behind for the
quick one, two, three! "Now You're A Man" hits once more, and
DareDevyl hits the ring for some post-match double team celebration on
Paladino. Dude and Devyl perform a move unlike any ever before witnessed:
Devyl grabs Paladino by the legs and swings him around rapidly, before Dude
rushes in from the opposite direction and drives the airborne Paladino into the
mat! Paladino is left lying as the music keeps playing, and the first
ever PWA show goes on.
Cerrone: Now THAT’S good television! Take
note, ladies and gentlemen! The Double D’s have arrived on the tag team
scene!
Troy: This is reprehensible!
SEGMENT
4: BACKSTAGE:
The
camera shifts backstage, where PWA owner Bryan Conroy is storming through the
halls, muttering obscenities to himself regarding the situation that occurred
earlier tonight with Superstar Scott Hosemann and his new manager Jerry
Georgatos. Then, suddenly, Conroy is stopped in his tracks by a familiar
face: walking down the hall in the opposite direction is “The Iceman”
Jason Calysto. The two former friends and rivals stare each other down
before Calysto extends his hand. After a brief hesitation, Conroy smiles
and shakes Calysto’s hand.
Conroy:
Good to see you, Jay.
Calysto:
Good to see you too, Bryan. A little strange being back at a wrestling
event, isn’t it?
Conroy:
Maybe at first, but we are in for a great time. However, I’d be lying if
I said I wasn’t a little concerned about the Jerry Georgatos situation that
just developed.
Calysto:
I wouldn’t worry too much if I were you. I mean, in order for Georgatos
to be any serious threat to the PWA is if Scott Hosemann becomes the PWA
Champion, and we all know that the first champ is gonna be me.
Conroy:
(chuckling) You never had a confidence problem, did you? Well, listen
Jay, I’ve got to run, but it’s been great talking to you.
Calysto:
Likewise. I’ll talk to you soon.
Conroy
and Calysto exit in separate directions, each man fully confident that the air
between the two has been officially cleared.
SEGMENT
5: BACKSTAGE:
The
camera cuts to a backstage dressing room containing PWA superstars Rick Delight
and Ryan “The Boss” Knakal. The two, who are scheduled to compete in
tonight’s battle royal, lace their boots as they converse.
Delight:
Did you see what just happened in that opening match?
Knakal:
Sure did. I just saw DareDevyl and Diabetes Dude make a tag team
statement. You know, I bet you and I could make a bigger and better tag
team statement without even trying.
Delight:
You might be onto something, Ryan. You might be onto something.
--
COMMERCIAL BREAK #2 --
SEGMENT
6: BACKSTAGE
We
return from commercial break with a camera on an irate James “The Blizzard”
Paladino, who storms back into his dressing room, completely frustrated with
not being able to overcome two-on-one odds to defeat Diabetes Dude in his PWA
debut.
Paladino: (muttering to himself) I’ve got to do something about this. This can’t become a pattern. I can’t be vulnerable. I’ve just GOT to do something.
As Paladino finally slams
his locker room door behind him, the camera returns to ringside.
SEGMENT
7: MATCH 2: SCYTHE VS. NORM THE PIZZAMAN:
"With You," by Linkin Park hits and the self-proclaimed modern-day samurai warrior Scythe approaches the ring at an intense, determined pace, completely unphased by the overall aura of fanfare that has defined the first ever PWA broadcast thus far. He looks his part as well: dark and intimidating, sporting nothing more than simple black pants marked with mysterious Chinese insignia No sooner does he climb in the ring than when "Black and White" by Static-X hits. The fans seem confused and amused as the cocky and calculating Norm the Pizzaman sneaks out from behind the curtain, accompanied by his t-shirt and jeans wearing assistant, Al. The sight of the duo is disturbing, especially considering Norm's robust goatee. When the bell rings it is obvious that Scythe has the hunger advantage, the thirst advantage; he has been craving action for a long time. Both warriors strike stances of prepared defense, before charging each other with a rapid exchange of high, low, and median level varieties of spinning, roundhouse, and crescent kicks. Every single kick that is exchanged is blocked, and the two eventually spin off of each other and resume their stances, looking extremely pleased.
Troy: Quite the opening exchange!
Cerrone: I don’t know what was so great about
it. These guys need to resort to more extreme tactics if they want to
make an impression tonight.
Troy: You know, Don, there IS a such thing as
honorable competition.
Cerrone: That’s loser talk, Troy.
Norm quickly steps in for another sidekick, taking advantage of Scythe's brief
pause, but Scythe catches his leg to the delight of the fans. Norm looks
around in disbelief, before attempting an enziguri, which Scythe also counters
by ducking! However Norm counters this counter by managing to still land
on the foot that is not held by Scythe! The fans come to their feet in
awe however as Scythe quickly lets go of Norm's leg and violently sweeps the
other out from under him in the blink of an eye! Scythe is wary this time
of Norm's cunning tactics, and wastes no time pausing for breath. This
strategy is all in vain however, as Norm immediately rolls off of his fall and
begins to muscle Scythe into the corner. He sharply knees him in the gut,
and the fans boo at the sheer brutality being dealt to such an honorable
warrior. Norm begins to unload on Scythe with rapid throat thrusts and
body chops, until he has slowly sunken all the way into the corner of the mat,
in sitting position.
Troy: Norm is taking it to Scythe here!
Cerrone: Norm is showing a little more of that killer
instinct in this match. Norm just might want this match more than Scythe.
Troy: I guess we’re about to find out.
Norm takes a breather, staggering into the center of the ring to pose for the
crowd. Any reaction this might have warranted is quelled by Scythe's
sudden resurgence of life, as he springs out of the corner with a spinning heel
kick in one fluid motion, bringing the crowd to its feet with enthusiasm.
Norm ducks the kick however, and as Scythe rolls off of the miss behind him,
Norm rushes in, tucks Scythe's head under his arm, and charges up the bottom,
middle then top turnbuckles before kicking off of it into a stunning bulldog
called the extra cheese. He poses again and makes the first cover of the
match, and the fans fear its over as the ref counts one, two...no! Scythe
shockingly kicks out with his last breath and Norm is in disbelief. Norm
looks to Al on the outside for an answer but Al's mouth is also agape.
Scythe's foot leaps off the mat into Norm's open mouth, sending him staggering
backwards! Scythe charges him but Norm scouts it with a kick the gut, and
he wastes no times hoisting up his opponent for the thirty minutes late
tigerbomb! Once again in fear of the match's end, the crowd gasps.
Scythe however, upon reaching the zenith of the move, thrusts his hand around
Norm's throat, choking him, as he unstraddles his legs from Norm's shoulders.
Cerrone: Oh man, I don’t like the looks of this!
Troy: It looks like Norm is about to go for a
ride!
Scythe hits a stunning chokeslam, immediately climbs outside onto the apron and
scales the top turnbuckle. Al leaps onto the apron to thwart Scythe but
Scythe dives right off of the turnbuckle and hurricanranas Al off of the apron
and onto the floor, completely overwhelming the fans who begin to vehemently
chant Scythe's name. Scythe once again scales the top turnbuckle and hits
a beautiful swan dive moonsault known as the diving blade, and the ref gets in
position for the one...two...yes, three! Scythe picks up an extremely
impressive victory and the fans undoubtedly into him as his theme hits.
He bows before the capacity crowd.
Troy: What a victory for Scythe!
Cerrone: All along, it looked like Norm had
everything under control, but Scythe picks up the big win. Frankly, I’m a
little disappointed.
Troy: You’ve got to hand it to Scythe! He
battled through not only the aggressions of Norm, but also those of Norm’s
assistant Al! Truly a great start to Scythe’s PWA career!
WINNER:
SCYTHE VIA PINFALL AT 4:52
SEGMENT
8: BACKSTAGE:
The
camera cuts backstage to a shot of Jaguar and Romeo, collectively known as the
Hot Boy$, preparing for their match tonight against TFU in their dressing room.
Jaguar: Well, this is it. We are finally here in the PWA.
Romeo: And we are ready to kick some serious ass. Starting with TFU tonight.
Jaguar: Damn right. You know, a lot of people have always questioned whether or not the Hot Boy$ were better than TFU. I guess tonight, all the talk stops.
Romeo: Well, there never was a contest anyway. Look at the facts: TFU are two-time tag team champions. The Hot Boy$ are four-time tag team champions. The Hot Boy$ won undisputed tag team gold. TFU did not.
Jaguar: But one fact still remains.
Romeo: What’s that?
Jaguar: The Hot Boy$ and TFU have never stepped into the ring together.
Romeo: … until tonight.
Jaguar and Romeo then
smile confidently at one another before Jaguar gets off his chair to leave.
Romeo: Hey, hold up.
Jaguar: What?
Romeo: What’s the deal with tonight’s battle royal? You in it to win?
Jaguar: If I wasn’t in it to win it, Romeo, there’d be no point in even showing up.
Romeo: Just making sure we’re on the same page. Good luck tonight.
Jaguar: (nodding) Same to you.
With that, Jaguar exits
the dressing room and we fade out for commercial break.
--
COMMERCIAL BREAK #3 --
SEGMENT
9: BACKSTAGE:
Back
from commercial break, we are taken backstage, where Norm the Pizzaman is
chastising his assistant Al.
Norm: Where the hell were you, Al?!? I needed you out there and you couldn’t even help me out! You couldn’t provide a good enough distraction to allow me to finish Scythe off! Why the hell do I even have you around in the first place?!?
Al: I was…
Norm: Did I tell you to speak?!? I don’t recall telling you to speak! You know what I DO recall?!? I recall you not doing your job earlier tonight when I lost to Scythe!
Al: Listen, Norm, I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’ll do better next time.
Norm: You better.
Al: But there IS something I have to tell you.
Norm: (annoyed) What is it Al?
Al: Well, I kinda entered myself into tonight’s invitational battle royal.
Norm: You WHAT?!?
Al: Well I…
Norm: (sighing) Just come with me, Al.
An angered Norm and a
fearful Al then disappear down the halls of the Continental Airlines Arena as
the camera pans out.
SEGMENT
10: BACKSTAGE:
The shot
shifts to a victorious Scythe returning from the ring after his victory several
moments ago. As Scythe walks down the hall toward his dressing room, he
encounters Loki, a superstar on his way to the ring to take on the Chocolate
Wonder momentarily. However, Scythe and Loki, who are no strangers to
each other, pause for a moment to acknowledge one another.
Loki: (smirking) Well, well. Congratulations on your victory tonight, Scythe. You looked impressive.
Scythe: Thank you. And you, Loki… I look forward to seeing you in the ring.
Loki: You know, it wasn’t long ago that you and I were wrestling for competing wrestling companies as part of dominant tag teams.
Scythe: It certainly wasn’t.
Loki: I mean, you were CAW, teaming with Billy Chan, I was FSW, teaming with Jon Sass… and then came June 15, when my team beat your team. Ah, what a night.
Scythe: Where is this going?
Loki: Nowhere, really. Just wanted to congratulate you on your win.
Scythe: Very well. Thank you. Good luck in yours tonight.
Loki: Thank YOU.
Loki turns to leave, but
before he can, Scythe grabs him by the arm and spins him around.
Scythe: And Steve… Loki… whatever you call yourself these days… you might have gotten the win in some tag team match months ago… but I guarantee you wouldn’t have the same luck in a singles match.
With that, Scythe turns
and continues his march toward his dressing room, while Loki stands there with
a smirk on his face.
Loki: We might just have to see about that one, now
won’t we…
SEGMENT
11: BACKSTAGE:
The
camera now switches focus to another portion of the backstage area, where PWA
broadcaster Scott Cornelius is standing by with the Chocolate Wonder and his
manager Willie.
Cornelius: Alright, I’m here backstage with the Chocolate Wonder and his manager Willie, and I can help but have a few questions. First off, why chocolate?
Wonder: You ask why chocolate, I ask why not? The simple fact of the matter is that I have a sweet tooth more intense than the normal human. Part of that sweet tooth is the undeniable desire to take out my aggressions in the ring. Willie here has guided the way for me, and shown me that I didn’t have to be a slave to chocolate my whole life; I could learn to harness the desire and become a better person.
Cornelius: I’m sorry, but I really just couldn’t make any sense of what you just said. It really just seemed like nonsensical jabbering to me. And who IS Willie, anyway? And why does he dress exactly like Willy Wonka?
Willie: You ask for MY identity, when you should instead be searching to find your own. If you are wise, you will listen to me, as the Chocolate Wonder did. And you will all see what the Chocolate Wonder has in store in just mere moments.
Wonder: That’s right. This interview is over. It’s time to let my actions do the talking.
The Chocolate Wonder and Willie
then exit for the ring as Scott Cornelius stands in confusion and the camera
returns ringside.
SEGMENT
12: MATCH 3: LOKI VS. THE CHOCOLATE WONDER:
The only known existing resident of Wonka, Pennsylvania, The Chocolate Wonder, makes his way to the ring to "Candy" by Foxy Brown, in the company of his bizarre and unsettling manger, Willie. Willie looks, acts, and dresses exactly like candy manufacturing legend Willy Wonka. However, The Chocolate Wonder himself is sporting brown wrestling shorts, black boots, and a plain white t-shirt with the word "Chocolate" smeared on the front with a substance that is presumably chocolate, and the word "Sweetness" smeared on the back. The Wonder seems to be in a world of his own, as does his manager. In their chocolate-induced delirium they find their way into the ring and the fans are definitely stimulated by his presence although they do not quite know what to think. The sounds of "Testify" by Rage Against the Machine break the awkward atmosphere and the sheer power and intensity of the song enthralls the crowd. It is the theme of the enigmatic yet charismatic and intense Loki, a bulky hulk with long blonde hair who stalks to the ring and plays the crowd all the way down the entrance ramp. The reaction leads one to think that the fans have perhaps already chosen a hero for this match.
Troy: Listen to this response for Loki!
This match hasn’t even STARTED, and the fans have already thrown their support
to him!
Cerrone: It figures. People are
sheep. The fans cheer Loki because of his long blonde hair and superstar
looks, but stare in confusion at the Chocolate Wonder, a man who exudes
aggression and charisma. I just don’t understand people.
Loki barely enters the ring before Wonder rushes him, swinging violently.
Wonder unloads with a furious succession of lefts and rights that immediately
dizzy Loki against the ropes. Wonder is here prompted to whip Loki into
the ropes, and Loki comes back with a dazzling flying shoulderblock, bringing
the fans to their feet, and taking The Chocolate Wonder off of his. Dazed
by the sheer power of Loki's impact, the Wonder stumbles to his feet and Loki
is waiting there for him to capitalize, kicking him in the gut, and setting him
up for what he calles Penance, an extremely destructive swinging tornado
DDT. Loki's pause is like a signal, warning the fans that they're about
to witness something big, and they cheer in anticipation. However, The
Chocolate Wonder surprises the crowd by driving his shoulder into Loki's gut
and charging him harshly into the turnbuckle. Immediately he whips Loki
into the opposite turnbuckle with surprising impact. The Wonder rushes in
and halfway across the ring he leaps forward, dazzling the fans with his
ability to jump so far, in an attempt at what he calls the Chocolate
Splash. At the very last possible moment Loki ducks out of the turnbuckle
and cradles through the dizzied Wonder's legs for a quick roll up! The
ref counts one, two, no! Wonder amazingly escapes!
Cerrone: Look at the unmitigated perseverance of
the Chocolate Wonder! I know the crowd really doesn’t understand what
he’s all about, but I like this guy! This guy can go far!
Troy: Personal preferences aside, you HAVE to be
impressed with Loki thus far in this match. He has earned my respect!
Cerrone: Is that supposed to impress me? I
don’t HAVE to be impressed with anything. In fact, him earning YOUR
respect makes me less likely to take to him, to tell you the truth.
Troy: Well, that was rather mean and uncalled for.
Cerrone: I’m sleazy, what do you want?
Wonder then counters by clasping Loki's legs and flipping over into a bodypress
pin! One, two...no! Loki kicks out, turns over while climbing to
his feet, before pulling a quick backslide for the one, two, another near
fall! Wonder yanks Loki towards him by the arm but Loki slides right
through his legs, and attempts the Atheist superkick! Wonder just
narrowly sidesteps and catches Loki's leg across his chest, which he uses to
suck in the rest of Loki's body for a thunderous reverse fallaway slam!
The fans gasp as The Chocolate Wonder finally makes a strong cover, for the
one, two...no! Loki STILL kicks out, so powerfully that the Wonder goes
flying across the ring! Wonder lands on his feet, ready to receive an
incoming Loki with a razor sharp DDT! He covers again, and this time Loki
is motionless! The ref counts, one, two...unbelievable! At the very
last instant Loki manages to limp his foot onto the adjacent rope and The
Wonder clutches his head in frustrated disbelief.
Troy: Unbelievable! Loki just won’t
quit! The Chocolate Wonder can’t keep him down!
Cerrone: What does the Chocolate Wonder have to
do to put Loki away?!?
The fans are showing tremendous respect to both competitors at this point, and
The Wonder begrudgingly drags Loki to his feet, setting him up for some kind of
running powerslam (a display of incredible strength). Loki however slips
behind Wonder halfway across the ring and immediately locks his opponent in for
the Morning Star! From abdominal stretch position he hoists his opponent
onto his shoulder before slamming him into the canvas, into a tightly tucked
pinning combination! The ref counts steadily and moderately, one,
two...yes, three!
Troy: That’s it! That’s it! Loki wins
it!
Cerrone: (disgustedly) I don’t believe this.
Troy: What a win for Loki! Loki is a force
to be reckoned with here in the PWA!
Cerrone: Trust me, Troy, we haven’t heard the
last of the Chocolate Wonder. Not by a long shot.
Loki scores the impressive victory, and Willie helps his
fallen client out of the ring, as both he and the Wonder stare at the
celebrating Loki with a look of crazed malice, and a few traces of respect, as
the camera fades for commercial break.
WINNER:
LOKI VIA PINFALL AT 7:01
--
COMMERCIAL BREAK #4 --
SEGMENT
13: BACKSTAGE:
As we
return from commercial break, we see Superstar Scott Hosemann walking the halls
of the Continental Airlines Arena with his manager Jerry Georgatos. As
they walk, they come across a familiar face: that of “Hardcore Icon”
Kerry Cox, the former Georgatos Enterprises associate and Lieutenant
Commissioner of CAW.
Georgatos:
Now isn’t this a nifty little surprise? Kerry Cox! How the hell are
ya?
Cox:
Can’t complain, Jerry. I really can’t complain.
Georgatos:
Oh, neither can I, Kerry, as you can plainly see.
Cox:
Yeah, Jerry Georgatos and Scott Hosemann working together to bring home the PWA
Championship… that sounds like a lethal combination.
Georgatos:
(smiling) Oh it certainly is. Hey, Kerry, why don’t you join us?
Why don’t we get a little Georgatos Enterprises reformation going here?
Cox:
You know what, Jerry? I really don’t think that’s a good idea.
Georgatos:
(confused) What are you talking about?
Cox:
Well, I mean, GE was a great stage of my career, but I’m prepared to move on
now.
Hosemann:
(taking offense) Are you telling me that I’m incapable of moving on with MY
career?!?
Cox:
No, that’s not what I’m saying at all… I’m just saying…
Hosemann:
You’re just saying what?
Georgatos:
Spit it out Kerry.
Cox: (after a long pause) Fine. Jerry, I just plain don’t like you. (crowd cheers intently) I never have. In fact, I never want to see your disgusting face again. But yet, here you are.
Georgatos: (enraged) Really. Well, Kerry, I’ll have to keep that in mind when Scott and I run roughshod over this place after Scott becomes the PWA Champion on August 31. I’ll make sure you and I never cross paths again.
Cox: Do what you do, Jerry, you’re still a disgusting little bastard.
Having heard enough, an irate Georgatos and Hosemann
continue walking, while Cox stands in place, an ear-to-ear grin etched on his
face.
SEGMENT
14: BACKSTAGE:
The
camera shifts over to the office of PWA owner Bryan Conroy, who is sitting at a
desk filling out some paperwork. Suddenly, the door swings open and an
average-sized man of about 6’0” and 220 pounds enters, sitting down directly
across from our owner. However, there is no outburst by Conroy; just a
look of worry, shock, and a bit of disgust as he addresses the individual
seated across from him.
Conroy:
Hello, Chad. What can I do for you?
Chad:
Well, big bro, I need a favor.
Conroy:
(sarcastically) That’s original. Imagine that, my half-brother Chad Hasty
needing a favor from me. Never heard that one before.
Chad:
Bryan, please, just listen. You know I’ve been training to be a wrestler
on and off for several years now.
Conroy:
(nods affirmatively)
Chad:
Well, I think I’m ready to get into the ring full time.
Conroy:
Full time?
Chad:
Yes, full time.
Conroy:
Do you have even the slightest idea of what kind of commitment it takes to be a
full time wrestler?
Chad:
Bryan, I’m well aware of all that.
Conroy:
What about your medical problems? Are you still seeing that psychiatrist
of yours?
Chad:
Nah, gave that up a long time ago. My therapy nowadays is getting in the
ring.
Conroy:
And I suppose the reason you came to me tonight is because you want a PWA
contract so you can compete in tonight’s battle royal.
Chad:
(smiling) That’s why you’re my brother.
Conroy:
HALF brother.
Chad:
Right, whatever. So am I in?
Conroy:
Chad, we all know your history of not following through on things. I need
you to swear to me that this won’t be another one of those things.
Chad:
Bryan, I swear. Please, Bryan. PLEASE put me in this match.
Conroy:
(begrudgingly) Fine. Let’s draw up a contract quickly, but get dressed
soon, you’re in tonight’s battle royal.
Chad:
(smiling feverishly) Thanks Bryan, I’ll never forget this.
Chad
Hasty then gets up and exits the dressing room in apparent victory.
Conroy: (sighing to himself) Yes Chad, you will.
SEGMENT
15: RINGSIDE:
The
camera returns ringside, where Metallica’s “Don’t Tread on Me” hits, signaling
the arrival of proud American citizen GI Jew. Jew, who comes to the ring
waving the American flag, is cheered heavily upon his arrival. Finally,
GI Jew grabs a microphone and steps into the ring.
GI Jew: Many of you might be wondering what I’m doing out here right now. I know, I don’t have a singles match tonight, and I’m not scheduled to be out here until the invitational battle royal begins later on tonight, but I had a few things I had to get off my chest. The first thing I’d like to discuss is the loyalties of Americans these days. You know, many of you claim to be true Americans, but when it comes down to it, you’re no better than any of the rest. I am here in the PWA to fight for my country. I am here in the PWA to make a difference and spread the word. You people like to cling to your cushy lifestyles and proclaim yourselves Americans simply because it’s the trendy thing to do nowadays. Everyone is so quick to identify themselves as an American these days and frankly, I’m sick of all the pretending. I’m sick of the games. I’m sick of the bullshit. You people cheered me when I walked to the ring and I realized that you all cheered simply because I carry an American flag to the ring. Well guess what people? I won’t expect your cheers the next time I walk out here. You know why? Simply because Americans don’t want their cushy lifestyles threatened. I am not here to condemn the United States; in fact I go out of my way to praise it. It is you ignorant American citizens that ruin it for the rest of us, and I will not put up with it any longer. If there’s one thing I…
Suddenly, GI Jew’s rant is cut off by the sounds of KISS’ “War Machine” blasting over the speakers. Finally, “The Hardcore Icon” Kerry Cox emerges from the entryway with a microphone in tow!
Cox: Who the hell do you think you are?!?
GI Jew: I’m GI Jew! I am the future of this wrestling organization! Now, it’s my turn. Who the hell are YOU?!?
Cox: Quite simply, I am Kerry Cox, the Hardcore Icon! (crowd cheers) I’ve been in this business a hell of a lot longer than you, buddy, so you might not want to push you luck.
GI Jew: I might not want to push my luck, huh. Well, listen, Cox, I don’t know who invited you here, but it’s time you leave. You know, you are EXACTLY the kind of person I am talking about. A person who…
Cox: Shut the hell up! And what’s with your name anyway? Are you trying to score brownie points for being Jewish? I don’t care. I just know you DON’T want to start with me. You really don’t. They don’t call me the Hardcore Icon for nothing. I’ll tell you what. You and I have some unfinished business here, but we’ll put it off for a few minutes. I will seek you out in the battle royal tonight, GI Jew, and I will eliminate you. As for your comments earlier tonight, I think I speak for all the people in attendance tonight when I say that NOBODY wants to hear you babble out of your ass anymore! I’ll see you tonight, punk.
With that, Cox exits back through the curtain to his
theme as GI Jew looks on in rage from the center of the ring and we fade out for
commercial break.
-- COMMERCIAL
BREAK #5 --
SEGMENT
16: BACKSTAGE:
We
return from commercial break with the camera focused on Jon Dulberg and his
self-described “insurance policy” Anthony Desio. The two are discussing
strategies for tonight’s battle royal in which they will both compete when they
run into Speed Demon. The two stop dead in their tracks and stare at one
another, not forgetting for a second the classic war they waged some two months
ago.
Dulberg:
I’m glad I ran into you.
Demon:
Are you?
Dulberg:
Yes… I just wanted to congratulate you on your victory over me a couple months
ago. You earned it that night.
Demon:
(taken aback) Thanks.
Dulberg:
But, Speed Demon, if we ever cross paths again, don’t count on a similar
result. Keep this fact in mind: I don’t like you. Not even an
ounce. If I get you in the ring again, you will be completely
obliterated. Just wait for that day. One of these days, I will get
you back in there, and I will teach you the lesson I should have taught you on
June 15.
Demon:
Thanks for the warning, Jon, but I don’t usually respond well to
warnings. We will cross paths again. I’ll make sure of it. In
fact, Jon, tonight, in the battle royal, I’ll come looking for you.
Dulberg:
I’m not hard to find.
With that, Speed Demon simply pats Dulberg on the chest
and backpedals away, with Dulberg staring a hole through him.
SEGMENT
17: BACKSTAGE:
In
another portion of the backstage area, highly-touted PWA rookie Renegade is
seen performing martial-arts warm-ups in front of a mirror for the invitational
battle royal later tonight. Suddenly, a second figure emerges in the
mirror, this one donning a mask. The mask is a dead giveaway that the man
is Spanish Fly, PWA’s resident masked luchadore. Spanish Fly emerges onto
the scene, seconded by his valet Senorita Lolita.
Spanish
Fly: What are you doing?
Renegade:
(annoyed) Warm-ups.
Spanish
Fly: Why?
Renegade
(annoyed) It’s none of your business anyway. You wish you had what I
have.
Spanish
Fly: Well, I was just coming to tell you that a martial-arts style would
never work in the PWA. Not with high-flyers like me around. You
might as well just pack up and go home.
Renegade:
(even more annoyed) YOU are telling ME that my STYLE won’t work here?!?
I’m supposed to take advice from a guy in a stupid yellow and black mask?!?
Spanish
Fly: Listen, I’m just saying, it’s probably best you just save yourself
the trouble and just leave.
Renegade:
(had enough) That’s it. I’m gonna prove to you and the world that my
style will work just fine here in the PWA. Spanish Fly, I’m calling you
out right now, to a match this Tuesday on Frequency!
Spanish
Fly: (after consulting with Senorita Lolita) You want it? You got
it. Prepare to go down in a blaze of glory.
Spanish
Fly and Senorita Lolita then exit, leaving Renegade along in his dressing room
to continue his warm-ups. As the camera shot fades, Renegade can be heard
muttering to himself, “Spanish Fly… I bet he’s not even really Spanish.”
SEGMENT
18: BACKSTAGE:
The
camera cuts to a dressing room backstage where the only things visible are two
championship belts hanging from a locker hook. As the camera zooms out, a
man puts one belt over each shoulder, preparing to head to the ring. The
man, of course, is “The Impulse” Mike Griffin, the undisputed CAW/FSW Champion
and one half of TFU. Griffin is decked out in new, sleeker ring attire
tonight, and seems more than ready for action. The camera shifts a little
to the lefts and gets a visual on Greg Tantalus, the other half of TFU, who is
also decked out in brand new ring attire.
Griffin:
Well, Greg, here we are.
Tantalus:
Yep, here we are. Our third wrestling organization. You know what
that means?
Griffin:
(smiling) More competition to dominate.
Tantalus:
(smiling) Absolutely.
Griffin:
You must admit, though, that it’s going to be unbelievably difficult to focus
on wrestling the Hot Boy$ next when we are about to enter a battle royal where
the stakes are as high as they are tonight. I know that becoming the
first PWA Champion is at the very top of my list of goals right now.
Tantalus:
It tops mine too, Mike. Tonight, in the battle royal, it’s just gonna
have to be every man for himself. But in a few minutes, when we go out
there for the tag team match, WE rule. We will beat the Hot Boy$ tonight,
and we’ll do it in whatever way we have to. But Mike, there’s just one
thing.
Griffin:
What’s that, Greg?
Tantalus:
Could you do me a huge favor and leave the two belts in the back tonight?
For my sake.
Griffin:
(confused and slightly disappointed) Alright, I guess. I won’t bring them
out.
Tantalus:
(smiling) Thanks. Now let’s go.
With that, Mike Griffin and Greg Tantalus exit the
dressing room and head to the ring as we head to another commercial break.
--
COMMERCIAL BREAK #6 --
SEGMENT
19: PARKING LOT:
We
return from commercial break with a clip of disturbing video footage that was
recorded before the show went on the air tonight. The package begins,
focusing on a view of the outside of the Continental Airlines Arena. The
camera then pans back to the front entrance with a shot of a large man sitting
on the steps leading to the door. The man, easily 6’8” and in the
neighborhood of 280 pounds seems extremely brooding as he simply sits on the
steps, waiting for something that perhaps only he knows. Finally, the man
opens his mouth to speak.
“Religion teaches us that the Lord has three states of being: the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost. This, of course, is the trinity. The holy trinity. But is the holy trinity the only trinity? Of course it isn’t. Look around you. Look around me. Everything arrives in threes. Death, malice, destruction, evil… arrivals of such events usually happen with three events, in a reversal of the holy trinity. Such is the case with the imminent destruction of the Progressive Wrestling Alliance. Hard to believe a company in its very first night of operation could already be marked for demise? Don’t be. It has already begun. And it will come to be in threes. Starting with tonight. Tonight, I enter the PWA invitational battle royal. And tonight, when I win the battle royal, we shall be one step closer to the second stage of this destruction. The Lord has three states of being, but so does the bitter end of an organization that never should have come to be. Tonight, you shall be introduced to the first state of being. Tonight, you shall be introduced… to Trinity.”
The package ends and a
hush falls over the capacity crowd.
Troy: Trinity? Is this Trinity really going to be here tonight?
Cerrone: You heard what the man said, Troy. He said that we will be introduced to Trinity, the first state of being, which I can only assume to be himself. He stated earlier on that he’d be involved in tonight’s battle royal, and it’s all I can really gather from it.
Troy: If that man Trinity truly is in the battle royal, he’s GOT to be the odds-on favorite to win this thing.
Cerrone: Absolutely. I don’t think it’s too far-fetched to think that Trinity has just about the best chance to leave Madison Square Garden on August 31 with the PWA Championship around his waist.
Troy: That’s a scary thought. I mean, you HAVE to be at least a LITTLE frightened of what that man is capable of after that video. Were you able to follow exactly what he was saying?
Cerrone: I lost him somewhere along the way, but I
would NEVER tell him that to his face. That man scares the bejesus out of
me.
SEGMENT
20: MATCH 4: TFU (MIKE GRIFFIN & GREG TANTALUS) VS. THE HOT
BOY$ (JAGUAR & ROMEO):
Suddenly, darkness sweeps over the Continental Airlines Arena. The excitement of the events thus far have snowballed the mood of the crowd into a furious riot of elation. Roars rise to a fever pitch, and they culminate with the explosion of "We on Fire" over the speakers. The fans, now undoubtedly loyal to PWA in general, deafen each other with the positive reaction that meets Jaguar and Romeo, the incomparable tag team specialists known as The Hot Boy$. Flames engulf the two superstars as they raise their arms in salute to the crowd, as if they had summoned the flames themselves. They actually begin to meet and engage in brief conversations with the fans with ringside seats, selling themselves well and elevating the magnitude of their own fanfare. When they step into the ring, the fans wish that their opponents were already there as well; they cannot wait to see The Hot Boy$ in action. There is a lengthy and dramatic pause, and the crowd slowly sinks to a hush and holds its breath in anticipation as the Hot Boy$ stand tall side by side in an anticipation of their own.
Troy: Alright, ladies and gentlemen, it is time
for heart-stopping tag team action!
Cerrone: If you say so.
Troy: As you can see, Jaguar and Romeo, the Hot
Boy$, are in the squared circle and ready to roll!
Cerrone: I’m sorry, but neither the Hot Boy$ nor
TFU have ever impressed me in the past. They’re just… just not hungry
enough for my liking. It seems to me like they are more concerned with
the reactions of the fans than with winning matches.
Troy: Well, everyone is entitled to his or her
own opinion, I suppose. And these fans inside the Continental Airlines
Arena are voicing theirs, which is undaunted approval of the Hot Boy$!
Cerrone: Ugh.
"Blister" by Simon Says rocks the arena, but it is more so the sight
of the two competitors featured in the Jumbotron package of this entrance that
hurls the crowd into a frenzy unlike any paralleled all night. With
little hesitation, as the vocals of their theme begin, "The Impulse"
Mike Griffin and Greg Tantalus step out onto the ramp, their faces swimming
with confidence. They look around to address the capacity crowd, which
continues to respond wildly, with infinite respect for the team that is perhaps
the most successful in recent wrestling history, TFU. All four men have
wide smiles on their faces as TFU strides down the ramp. About halfway
down they pause, exchange high fives, and dart down to the ring at full
speed. The crowd immediately rises as the Hot Boy$ in the ring start
stomping and beckoning their incoming opponents. First contact is made
between Griffin and Romeo, and it is mere moments before their violent battle
spills over the top rope and onto the outside, allowing the bell to ring with
Tantalus and Jaguar starting off the actual tag match.
Troy: Here we go! This match is finally
underway!
Cerrone: And these fans couldn’t be happier!
Troy: Of course not! This is a CAW/FSW
dream match!
Tantalus and Jaguar engage in a marathon slugfest, with neither man taking a
significant advantage despite the rapid quickening and strengthening of the
blows. On the outside, Griffin manages to catches a charging Romeo with a
huge tight belly-to-belly suplex, exciting the crowd. The pro-TFU
excitement is reversed however, in the favor of the Hot Boy$, as Jaguar finally
manages to land two, three, four blows to Tantalus without a counter, sending
him reeling towards the ropes. Griffin takes his place on the apron,
already preparing to receive a tag in case Jaguar's advantage manages to gain
too much steam. Romeo also finally takes his place on the apron, stomping
about, and pounding on the ropes. He's so hungry the fans feel it, and
they begin to stomp along with Romeo, rallying behind the Hot Boy$. Back
in the ring, Tantalus manages to counter a Jaguar attempt at a power slam with
a picture perfect snap rolling arm drag, before catching a returning Jaguar
with a hip toss, and then finally with the power slam that Jaguar had attempted
to hit him with in the first place, once again instantly reversing the crowd
enthusiasm in favor of TFU.
Troy: The constant cheering for TFU has GOT to be
getting to the Hot Boy$!
Cerrone: If I were the Hot Boy$, I would forget
the crowd right now and do whatever it takes to win this match! This is a
HUGE match! I can’t even begin to stress how pivotal…
Troy: We know, Don. You like guys that get
the job done however possible. You don’t have to say it every five
seconds, every time someone wrestles.
Cerrone: (taken aback) Well NOW who’s making
comments that are rather mean and uncalled for?
Romeo and Griffin on the outside are outstretching their arms, begging for a
tag, despite the fact that there is no critical need for one, and the fans are
into their desire. Tantalus and Jaguar however are so into their exchange
that at this moment themselves and the fans off of which they are feeding might
as well be the only people in the whole world. Jaguar slowly staggers to
his feet and Tantalus is crouched behind him in wait. Jaguar turns around
to receive a kick to the gut, and Tantalus sets him up for his falcon arrow
finisher! The crowd is going berserk, and instead of sighing in
disappointment, they CONTINUE to go berserk as Jaguar miraculously reverses the
move into his own finisher, the Carrjack! He succeeds in hitting the
move, but it's done so close to TFU's corner that Griffin manages to tag
Tantalus's outstretched hand as he's driven into the mat. By the time
Jaguar realizes that the tag has taken place, he is already on the receiving
end of a series of furious chops by Griffin. Jaguar narrowly ducks under
the fourth chop and counters with a dazzling reverse roundhouse kick, which Griffin
also somehow manages to duck under despite not being able to see the move
coming. Thereafter, Griffin immediately locks on the rolling German
suplexes and the crowd goes wild for TFU once again! Instead of bridging
the third suplex however for a pin, Griffin attempts a fourth, which Jaguar
blocks, attempts to reverse, fails, and blocks again, before suddenly tagging
the furious Romeo! Romeo rushes in, and immediately attempts a leaping
clothesline, which would've connected with his partner Jaguar, but Jaguar ducks
at the last second, the result of which is a completely leveled Griffin!
Immediately after ducking his partner's assault, Jaguar hits the ropes, and
floors an incoming Tantalus with a stunning spinning flying elbow!
Troy: And down goes Tantalus!
Cerrone: Listen to this! The fans are now
chanting for the Hot Boy$!
Troy: They can’t seem to make up their minds!
There is no doubt that the fans are now completely feeling the Hot Boy$, as the
back and forth favoritism of each team continues. Romeo, repeatedly
grounding Griffin with various clotheslines and bodyblocks, is countered by a
duck under, as Griffin attempts to rolling Germans on him! Romeo blocks
the first one, slips around behind Griffin, and hits his reverse death valley driver!
Remarkably, it is only the first cover of the contest so far as the ref counts
one, two, no! Griffin manages to get his foot on the rope at the very
last fraction of a second and Romeo is more frustrated than ever. Romeo
picks up Griffin, and whips him into the turnbuckle, where he tags Tantalus,
leaps onto the top turnbuckle, and drills Romeo with a missile dropkick before
exiting onto the apron. Tantalus and Romeo violently lock up, and
Tantalus shockingly manages to muscle Romeo into his own corner! Enraged,
Romeo explodes out with a sudden knee to Tantalus's gut, before tagging in
Jaguar, and hitting an absolutely killer double chokeslam in the middle of the
ring! Jaguar covers, one, two, no! Griffin comes out of nowhere with
a simply extraordinary high diving moonsault, breaking up the count and
knocking out Jaguar completely!
Troy: Oh my God! Oh my God! What a
moonsault!
Cerrone: Mike Griffin just showed the world
exactly why he is the undisputed CAW/FSW Champion!
Griffin quickly picks up Jaguar off of his partner, before commencing with the
Hart Attack, for what is perhaps the loudest reaction of the entire show!
Romeo breaks up the count but moments later he's clotheslined so violently by
Griffin that both he and Griffin go tumbling out of the ring due to the sheer
momentum. Meanwhile in the ring, in the midst of the chaos, Tantalus
slides through Jaguar's legs and rolls him up, confusing the hell out of the
crowd as he pulls the tights for the spontaneous one, two, three!
Troy: That’s it! It’s over!
Cerrone: He had the tights! He had the
tights! By God, Tantalus had the tights!
Troy: Are you sure about that?!?
Cerrone: I’m POSITIVE! Greg Tantalus just
CHEATED! I have newfound respect for TFU!
Victor Troy and Don Cerrone proceed to carefully examine the videotape, which upon viewing reveals that Tantalus did indeed pull the tights!
Troy: My God, you’re right! Greg Tantalus
pulled Jaguar’s tights to pick up the win! Why would he do that?!?
Cerrone: I don’t know, but Greg Tantalus has just
earned my respect! Cheat to win, Greg!
No one except the fans and the commentators saw the
pulling of the tights. However, as TFU backpedals up the ramp to the
sounds of “Blister,” an oblivious Griffin walking beside a jubilant and
mischievous-looking Tantalus, Jaguar angrily screams to both tag team partner
Romeo and PWA senior official John Douglas that Tantalus had his tights.
With Jaguar’s pleas falling on deaf ears, we fade out for our final commercial break.
WINNERS:
TFU VIA PINFALL AT 13:11
-- COMMERCIAL
BREAK #7 --
SEGMENT
21: MATCH 5: MAIN EVENT: PWA INVITATIONAL BATTLE ROYAL:
We
return from commercial break with a camera shot focused on our commentators,
Victor Troy and “The Standard Sleaze” Don Cerrone.
Troy: Alright, ladies and gentlemen, it has been a wild ride thus far
and it’s only going to get wilder! In just mere moments, a confirmed
twenty-five PWA superstars will ascend toward that ring to wage war in a Battle
Royal! As you know, the man that emerges victorious in this match will
advance straight to the finals of the PWA Championship tournament, while the
twelve men eliminated directly before the winner compete in single-elimination
tournament action. Then, at PWA Everlasting Epic on August 31, the winner
of tonight’s battle royal will compete against the winner of the tournament to
determine the inaugural PWA Champion.
Cerrone: That was certainly a mouthful. I nearly lost interest.
With
that, “Black and White” by Static-X hits for the second time tonight, ushering
Norm the Pizzaman and his less-than-helpful assistant Al to the ring as they
are met with an exceptionally negative reaction from the fans in
attendance. As Norm and Al step through the ropes, the bell sounds and
ring announcer Lee Palmer begins announcing the participants for this
high-stakes match. Next to arrive are the Double D’s, as DVDA’s “Now
You’re a Man” blasts over the speakers and the controversial tag team of
DareDevyl and Diabetes Dude, fresh off his win over James Paladino earlier
tonight, makes its way to the ring. After this, “Going Back to Cali” by
the Notorious BIG hits and the unit of Rick Delight and Ryan “The Boss” Knakal
starts toward the squared circle.
Troy: We saw Knakal and Delight looking on earlier
tonight when the Double D’s showed their worth in tonight’s opening
match. You have to wonder if Delight and Knakal will look to make a tag
team statement in this match.
Cerrone: If they did, it would only confirm their sheer stupidity.
This match is not about making tag team statements; it is about getting an
opportunity to become the first PWA Heavyweight Champion. Any moron with
half a brain knows that.
“Jungle Boogie” hits next, and the sounds of Kool and the Gang lead PWA’s resident luchadore, the Spanish Fly, down to the ring. Fly, sans valet Senorita Lolita, is barely halfway down the ramp when Foxy Brown’s “Candy” finds its way onto the speakers, prompting the crowd to stand in confused awe of the Chocolate Wonder, who heads to the ring with undeniable confidence despite his loss earlier in the evening. For those wondering, his manager Willie is indeed at his side as he joins the PWA superstars in the ring. Renegade is out next, walking assuredly to the ring to Nelly’s “Pimp Juice” as the crowd, having seen very little of this up-and-coming talent, hasn’t a clue whether to cheer or boo. Next up on the loudspeaker is “Coma” by Guns N’ Roses, signaling the arrival of the exhilarating Speed Demon, who is met with a rousing ovation from the FSW loyalists in the crowd, paying homage to his amazing rookie year in that promotion. Speed Demon enters the squared circle and Pantera’s “Walk” invades the speakers, prompting an equal amount of cheers for the man dubbed as the “Human Highlight,” Speed Demon’s nemesis, Jon Dulberg. Dulberg is accompanied to the ring, as always, by his self-described “insurance policy,” Anthony Desio, who happens to be making a rare wrestling appearance and a participant in this battle royal. With Dulberg and Desio in the ring, Pantera remains on the speakers, but this time in the form of “Cowboys From Hell,” which leads James “The Blizzard” Paladino to the ring to a nice ovation from the crowd that has clearly not forgotten his superlative effort in tonight’s opener.
Troy: These fans are showing James Paladino that his efforts were
indeed worth it tonight!
Cerrone: It doesn’t matter. He still lost tonight, and he will lose this match too. No matter what the fans say about him, he will come out of tonight a double loser.
Troy: That’s not very nice.
Cerrone: C’mon, Troy, my name is the Standard Sleaze. I’m not supposed to be nice.
“War Machine” by KISS then hits, marking the arrival of “The Hardcore Icon” Kerry Cox, who is met with a very positive reaction from the crowd. He is followed by GI Jew, who intensely storms to the ring to Metallica’s “Don’t Tread on Me.” After his entrance, “Another One Bites the Dust” by Queen blasts onto the speakers, leading Bryan Conroy’s half-brother Chad Hasty to the ring. Hasty, who earlier tonight begged the PWA owner to be included in this match, has a look of great determination on his face as he storms into the ring. Next up is Loki, who hits the ring with a purpose as Rage Against The Machine’s “Testify” blasts and the crowd cheers rampantly for the man who defeated the Chocolate Wonder in impressive fashion earlier tonight. Linkin Park’s “With You” then invades the speakers, prompting the cheers of the crowd to simply continue, welcoming Asian sensation Scythe to this battle royal.
The mood of the battle royal takes a drastic turn for the worse moments later, when “Natural Born Killers” by Dr. Dre and Ice Cube hits and the monstrous Trinity stalks his way to the ring to stunned silence. A mountain of a man at 6’3” and 280 pounds, Trinity enters the battle royal the odds-on favorite to win it all. As if his arrival wasn’t enough, John Williams’ “Imperial March” suddenly blasts onto the speakers and the crowd erupts in a chorus of unadulterated jeers to meet Superstar Scott Hosemann and his weasel manager Jerry Georgatos. However, the bad mood of the crowd is completely turned around as “We on Fire” propels onto the loudspeakers, sending the crowd into frenzy for Jaguar and Romeo, the Hot Boy$! The two enter the ring with a purpose as their music fades into Simon Says’ “Blister,” leading the team that defeated the Hot Boy$ just moments ago, TFU, to the ring to an equally deafening ovation! Mike Griffin and Greg Tantalus dart toward the ring, headed right for Jaguar and Romeo, when the Smashing Pumpkins’ “The End is the Beginning is the End” explodes onto the speakers, prompting the audience to burst into furious cheers, the loudest ovation of the night, for “The Iceman” Jason Calysto! With action breaking out in the ring upon TFU’s arrival, Calysto wastes no time in sliding right into the ring and getting this battle royal officially underway.
Troy: Alright, here we go! The battle royal has begun!
Cerrone: It’s about damn time!
Total and sheer chaos erupts in the ring as the bell sounds, with bodies flying from one corner to the next and men dropping like flies. Noted adversaries Jon Dulberg and Speed Demon go right at one another, vehemently slugging it out. TFU and the Hot Boy$ predictably engulf themselves in two-on-two action, in large part due to the controversial finish that surrounded their match moments ago. The confusion continues in this manner until Norm the Pizzaman and his lackey Al begin double-teaming Scythe, the man who defeated Norm earlier in the evening. The two execute a spiked piledriver on Scythe and momentarily celebrate, before Norm turns around, grabs Al by the hair, and launches him over the top rope!
Troy: Look at that! Norm just eliminated Al!
Cerrone: You’ve gotta believe that is a form of payback for Al not being able to help Norm out earlier tonight.
Needless to say, Al does not look happy on the outside of the ring, but Norm simply shrugs and gets back to the action. Meanwhile, in the ring, Chad Hasty is taking full advantage of his opportunity in this match, getting the crowd on his side by downing Rick Delight, Ryan Knakal, and the Chocolate Wonder with furious clotheslines. Jon Dulberg charges next, but suffers the same fate, nailed down hard by a Hasty forearm. Not far behind is Dulberg loyalist Anthony Desio, who charges Hasty with unforeseen aggression. However, Hasty sidesteps Desio, launching him over the top rope for the second elimination of the evening. Moments later, Norm hits Hasty with a big belly-to-back suplex, giving Chad Hasty little time to celebrate his elimination. Still right by the ropes, Norm sets up Hasty for 30 Minutes Late, but Chad has the move scouted and backdrops Norm over the top rope and to the arena floor! With the crowd chanting Chad’s name, a bizarre look of indifference comes over his face, and Chad Hasty unpredictably bounces over the top rope, out of the ring, effectively eliminating himself to the shock of the crowd.
Troy: What the hell was that?!? Chad Hasty has just eliminated himself from this battle royal! Why?!? Why would he do that?!?
Cerrone: This is completely ridiculous! Hasty was on such a roll! He seemed so passionately involved in this match! I don’t understand this at all!
Neither do the fans, who boo Chad Hasty vehemently as he walks to the backstage area, seemingly completely disgusted with the battle royal for apparently no reason at all. Back in the ring, Loki and the Chocolate Wonder, two men who had a tremendous match earlier this evening, are going at it with a passion. The Chocolate Wonder gains the advantage in this exchange, setting up Loki for his finisher, Sweetness. However, Loki quickly counters the move, backdropping the Chocolate Wonder to a tremendous response. Still dazed from the impact, the Chocolate Wonder staggers right into a Jason Calysto mafia kick, sending him flying over the top rope, into the world of elimination! Meanwhile, the monstrous Trinity finally begins dominating the battle royal, tossing numerous superstars around the ring. The first serious victim of Trinity’s aggression is Rick Delight, who attempts to take the big man off his feet with a shoulderblock. In response, Trinity barely budges, lifts Delight over his head, and launches him to the arena floor. Trinity then launches Speed Demon into the corner, charging him with furious aggression. However, Speed Demon moves at the last second, forcing Trinity to go crashing into the turnbuckle. As Trinity staggers backward, Jason Calysto again darts across the ring out of nowhere, blasting the dangerous superstar with a furious mafia kick! Trinity hits the mat with a crashing thud, just as James Paladino hits Diabetes Dude with an awe-inspiring dropkick on the other side of the ring, eliminating one half of the Double D’s!
Troy: And that’s it for Diabetes Dude! James Paladino gains a measure of revenge for what took place in tonight’s opening match!
Cerrone: If Paladino really wants to feel vindicated, he needs to survive five more eliminations and qualify for the championship tournament.
With 18 men remaining in the battle royal, the action does not slow down, not even for a second. Renegade and Spanish Fly, two men who will compete against one another Tuesday night on Frequency, battle vehemently in one corner of the ring, until Spanish Fly ducks under a Renegade Kick of Death and uses the martial-artists momentum against him, sending Renegade flying over the top and to the floor! Meanwhile, the ongoing slugfest between Ryan Knakal and GI Jew comes to a halt when GI Jew hits Knakal with a Gore so thunderous that “The Boss” tumbles over the top rope and all the way down to the ground! By this time, Trinity is back at full capacity, and back on a tear. After briefly slugging it out with DareDevyl, Trinity catches the remaining half of the Double D’s in a brutal bearhug, before backing up three steps and executing an awesome belly-to-belly suplex that launches DareDevyl all the way to the arena floor! With the fans still in awe and Trinity off guard, Spanish Fly sneaks up behind him and attempts to eliminate the big man, but Trinity simply laughs off this feeble attempt, nailing Spanish Fly in the spine with a monstrous forearm. Moments later, Spanish Fly suffers a similar fate and lives up to his moniker, flying over the top rope and hitting the arena floor with a crashing thud.
Cerrone: Oh my God! He really CAN fly!
Troy: That was almost too brutal to watch!
Cerrone: That’s it now! One more elimination and then everyone qualifies for the tournament!
Troy: That’s right, Don. Jason Calysto, TFU, the Hot Boy$, Trinity, Scott Hosemann, Scythe, Loki, GI Jew, James Paladino, Speed Demon, Jon Dulberg, and Kerry Cox. One of these men will NOT be involved in the tournament to crown the first PWA Champion; the other thirteen will. Who knows what’s gonna happen now?!?
Realizing exactly that, a sense of urgency fills the ring, with each of the thirteen men not wanting to be the man that is eliminated next. Kerry Cox, entangled in a brawl with GI Jew, barely escapes elimination, as he hangs onto the top rope for dear life after being tossed over, eventually pulling himself back into the ring. On the other side of the ring, Scythe swings a big kick at Jon Dulberg, but Dulberg ducks, forcing the kick to connect with James Paladino, who is sent staggering into the ropes. Dulberg then floors Scythe and charges Paladino, hitting him with a clothesline that sends him over the top rope but, thanks to Paladino’s remarkable balance, is able to land feet first on the ring apron! Dulberg and Paladino exchange fists while Speed Demon charges Dulberg from behind, poised to rid the battle royal of his nemesis! However, Dulberg sees him out of the corner of his eye and sidesteps him, forcing Speed Demon to crash into Paladino on the apron, knocking Paladino to the arena floor and eliminating him from the battle royal!
Troy: That’s it! Paladino is gone!
Cerrone: And we have our thirteen tournament qualifiers!
The tensions in the ring ease with this elimination and the pace picks up, with Loki immediately surprising Scythe with a quick clothesline that eliminates Scythe and gives him the twelfth seed in the forthcoming tournament. Suddenly, Jason Calysto charges Loki out of nowhere with a mafia kick, but this time, Loki moves, causing Calysto to discombobulate himself, into a position of straddling the ropes. Then, a moment later, Mike Griffin comes charging across the ring and clotheslines Calysto to the floor, eliminating him! Griffin has no time to relish eliminating one of the favorites of this match, as Hot Boy Romeo immediately downs him with a furious clothesline. Romeo lifts Griffin off the ground, attempting to whip him over the top, but the CAW/FSW Champion is able to reverse the irish whip attempt and send Romeo flying over the top! As Griffin bends over the ropes to taunt the fallen Hot Boy, he is dumped out of the ring from behind, eliminating him. When the camera pans to the perpetrator, it is revealed that Griffin’s own TFU tag team partner Greg Tantalus did the deed! As Griffin fumes, screaming at his partner, Tantalus simply smiles and shrugs, citing that it is every man for himself!
Troy: I don’t believe it! Greg Tantalus just eliminated Mike Griffin!
Cerrone: I admire that! Greg Tantalus is here to win this battle royal! That’s about the smartest thing I’ve seen tonight!
Moments later, the ongoing battle between GI Jew and Kerry Cox comes to a close when GI Jew attempts his Gore finisher but Cox sidesteps it, sending GI Jew crashing into the turnbuckle. As he staggers backward, Cox charges in and eliminates him with a clothesline over the top rope! Simultaneously, Loki becomes Trinity’s next victim, being propelled over the top rope courtesy of a big boot from the monster, narrowing the field to seven. As the battle rages on, Superstar Scott Hosemann finally makes headlines in this battle royal, surprising former Georgatos Enterprises partner Kerry Cox with the Superstar Stunner and following it up with a clothesline that sends Cox to the arena floor! Six men now remain, with Jaguar and Greg Tantalus embroiled in a brawl in one corner, Speed Demon and Jon Dulberg slugging it out in another, and Trinity and Scott Hosemann now staring at one another from opposite corners of the ring. Slowly, but surely, the two favorites to win this battle royal start toward one another.
Troy: Business is about to pick up now! If anyone can compete with Trinity, it’s Superstar Scott Hosemann!
Cerrone: Longtime CAW loyalists have been waiting for these two to lock it up for an eternity!
Hosemann and Trinity lock up, with Trinity coming out the aggressor, effortlessly tossing Hosemann to the mat. Hosemann gets right back up, locking Trinity in a headlock. However, Trinity powers out of this with an awesome belly-to-back suplex! Meanwhile, war between Jon Dulberg and Speed Demon comes to a sudden end when Dulberg charges a cornered Demon. Seeing this coming, Speed Demon ducks down, back-body-dropping Dulberg over the top and to the arena floor! Moments later, on the other side of the ring, Jaguar attempts a Carrjack on Greg Tantalus, a move he hit Tantalus with earlier tonight, but Tantalus slips out, grabs Jaguar’s head, and suplexes him over the top rope, eliminating him!
Troy: Tantalus eliminates Jaguar! Both members of TFU have eliminated both Hot Boy$ from this battle royal! I don’t believe it!
Cerrone: And just like that, we are down to our final four!
Greg Tantalus, Scott Hosemann, Trinity, and Speed Demon circle one another, knowing that only one of the four of them will earn a free pass to August 31’s Everlasting Epic and a spot in the finals of the PWA Championship tournament. The other three will have to go through the twelve-man tournament the same as the last nine people eliminated from this match. Speed Demon makes the first move, charging at Trinity, while Greg Tantalus and Scott Hosemann do battle. Speed Demon’s rush at Trinity proves a mistake as the monster quickly takes the advantage, demolishing Speed Demon with a barrage of sick power-based maneuvers. Meanwhile, Greg Tantalus and Scott Hosemann are embroiled in a bitter battle that sees Tantalus slip out of a Hosemann vertical suplex and counter with a side suplex of his own! Hosemann gets to his feet and Tantalus is relentless, pounding away on the Superstar with furious lefts and rights before tying Hosemann up in the ropes! Tantalus takes two steps back and charges Hosemann, preparing to narrow this battle royal down to three, when Hosemann counters by sticking his boot up, connecting with Tantalus’ gut! Hosemann then frees himself from the ropes and hits Tantalus with a Superstar Stunner so impactful that Tantalus’ momentum carries him right over the top rope and to the arena floor!
Troy: Wow! What a stunner! Tantalus went airborne after that Superstar Stunner!
Cerrone: That was so sudden! Just when it looked like Hosemann was finished, he was far from it, and Tantalus is out of here!
As soon as Greg Tantalus is eliminated, Scott Hosemann begins assisting Speed Demon in his quest to rid the battle royal of the monstrous Trinity, clearly a sound strategy. In an amazing feat of strength, Hosemann and Speed Demon work together and hit Trinity with a thunderous vertical suplex! With Trinity on the brink, Hosemann whips Trinity hard into the corner, and follows it up by whipping Speed Demon into him! Speed Demon connects with a charging shoulderblock on the big man, but before he can capitalize, Trinity grabs a hold of him and begins to squeeze the life out of him with a powerful bearhug! Never one to quit, Speed Demon battles back, clawing his fingers into Trinity’s eyes! In response, Trinity tosses Speed Demon out of his arms, sending Speed Demon over the top rope! However, Demon is able to grab onto the top rope and skins the cat, flipping back into the ring! Speed Demon re-enters the ring and, as he does so, Trinity grabs him by the throat and heaves him over the top rope and to the arena floor! Speed Demon is finally eliminated! Then, as Trinity turns around, he is violently clotheslined over the top rope by Scott Hosemann, who had been laying low and watching Speed Demon and Trinity battle it out! Trinity tumbles over the top and crashes onto the arena floor with a violent thud!
Troy: That’s it! That’s it! Superstar Scott Hosemann has won this battle royal! Scott Hosemann is going to Everlasting Epic!
Cerrone: Hosemann wins! Hosemann let Trinity and Speed Demon fight it out and then, when he saw his opening, exploded back and won the thing! This is a tremendous victory!
WINNER AT
21:15 AND NO.1 CONTENDER TO THE PWA HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP: SUPERSTAR
SCOTT HOSEMANN
THE
AFTERMATH:
“Imperial
March” blasts onto the speakers and the crowd erupts into a chorus of boos as
Jerry Georgatos steps into the ring and raises the hand of the victorious
Superstar Scott Hosemann, who will now meet the winner of the forthcoming
twelve-man single elimination tournament in the main event of PWA Everlasting
Epic to determine the first PWA Heavyweight Champion. As Hosemann
celebrates his impressive victory, an infuriated Trinity looks on from the
outside with contempt and rage. Trinity disgustedly storms to the back
while Speed Demon struggles to his feet on the outside. The fans give
Speed Demon a rousing ovation as he exits to the back while Jerry Georgatos
continues to revel in Hosemann’s triumph.
Troy: That does it for us tonight, ladies and gentlemen! Scott Hosemann has come into East Rutherford and won the PWA Invitational Battle Royal!
Cerrone: Jerry Georgatos has found himself a winner!
Troy: Join us Tuesday night for the world premiere of PWA Frequency, when the 12-man tournament to determine Scott Hosemann’s opponent at Everlasting Epic for the PWA Championship begins! It’s all live from the Nassau Coliseum in Uniondale, New York! For “The Standard Sleaze” Don Cerrone, I’m Victor Troy! Goodnight, everybody!
BATTLE
ROYAL ORDER OF ELIMINATION:
Al – by Norm the Pizzaman
Anthony Desio – by Chad Hasty
Norm the Pizzaman – by Chad Hasty
Chad Hasty – by himself
Chocolate Wonder – by Jason Calysto
Rick Delight – by Trinity
Diabetes Dude – by James Paladino
Renegade – by Spanish Fly
Ryan Knakal – by GI Jew
DareDevyl – by Trinity
Spanish Fly – by Trinity
James Paladino – by Speed Demon
Scythe – by Loki
Jason Calysto – by Mike Griffin
Romeo – by Mike Griffin
Mike Griffin – by Greg Tantalus
GI Jew – by Kerry Cox
Loki – by Trinity
Kerry Cox – by Scott Hosemann
Jon Dulberg – by Speed Demon
Jaguar – by Greg Tantalus
Greg Tantalus – by Scott Hosemann
Speed Demon – by Trinity
Trinity – by Scott Hosemann
Winner – Scott Hosemann
NON-TELEVISED
MATCHES:
DareDevyl d. Renegade in 4:51 with Kanyption.
GI Jew d. Rick Delight in 6:12 with the Gore.
Kerry Cox d. Spanish Fly in 5:13 with the Coxsucker DDT.